Today's BLOG is a life changing SECRET I learned by accident
on the road to REBUILDing my shaken soul...
and I thought it might be helpful for someone out there
who has also felt "Not good enough".
I have learned from Neuroscience
that our thoughts are like the "software"
that run the "hardware" of our brains.
People often consider the Mind and the Brain to be one in the same....
when in fact THEY ARE NOT!
This is an over simplified way to explain it... but if you think of your MIND as your (thoughts or a lightbulb) and the BRAIN as the (physical anatomy) or the THE ACTUAL GOOEY BRAIN
then you can better understand how I used them both to heal my own broken thoughts.
My daughter made a comment to me a while back
and it has really stuck with me.... she said
"Mom, I'm so proud that even after 50 you still find ways to have 1sts in your LIFE." WOW... I hadn't realized I was doing that until she mentioned it, but I had.
AND now that I see it, I'd love to pass this little secret on
to those of you who may have also felt like SECONDS.
For many people out there (like myself) who this is NOT your 1st go round at love, children, homes, jobs, marriage....etc. it's hard to keep the same level of excitement and giddy emotions you felt when it genuinely was your 1st. AND... more importantly.... it's extremely hard to "move on" without carrying the baggage in your mind (the lightbulb) of being "Not good enough" the 1st time. Whether you feel as though the fault was your own or someone else's.... the fact remains.... it's up to you to gather your pieces and learn to move on with grace and gratitude. It's a little like a car wreck... It doesn't really matter where the fault lies.... the truth is you've been in a wreck and there are broken parts that MUST be fixed in order to get back on the road!
images by carbuyingtips.com and from carfromjapan.com
So... during my recent trip to the beautiful mountains of Bozeman, Montana,
Butch and I made a purposeful decision to create as many 1sts
(granted some of them were silly) as humanly possible.
Clearly... this is neither one of our 1st marriages, in fact it's not even my 2nd,
so we had to work a little EXTRA to make memories
that belonged as "OUR FIRSTS" !
We used our thoughts (the lightbulb) to make our brain (the anatomy)
work the way we wanted it to.
This one was easy... because it really was our 1st... but we stopped and asked someone to take our picture so we could keep this memory as truly OURS... and as we sat and watched the geyser erupt we both observed nature's beauty with a renewed type of AWE at experiencing something together for the 1st time.
Sometimes you have to remind your (lightbulb) to work
so that your (anatomy-brain) can experience the benefits.
We see beauty every day and often don't even STOP long enough
for the memory to hold in the cortex of our brain,
or even to give it a second thought.
Now this one.... was a stretch. BUT... the laugher we experienced will forever be our 1st ! As we hiked up the mountain (which both of us had done before)... yes... NOT that exact mountain, but we knew what hiking was like.... so we purposely thought of ALL the things that we'd never done before (using our lightbulbs so we could have OUR own type of 1sts)
1. Taking BEAR spray on our hike. (I didn't even know that was a real thing)
2. Looking for all the wildflowers that were in our Cabin bouquet on the hillside.
3. Making it all the way to the TOP even though we were breathing like we needed oxygen tanks.
4. Dancing to our favorite song at the very TOP. (Thank you cell phone & Youtube)
5. Taking a nap in the wildflowers along the hillside.... EXCEPT I kinda freaked out that while we were sleeping we might get eaten by a BEAR .... so mostly this was just a silly 1st thought (and photo op)... but hey, it counted... I'd never worried about being eaten by a bear while napping before!
I know this may sound silly.... but there is research to back up the fact that neurotransmitters are releasing a special cocktail of chemicals (like dopamine and serotonin) in the brain when you are HAPPY (aka. endorphins) ... even if your happy is contrived and crazy... THE biochemical reaction in the brain is REAL.... so go ahead and make a silly 1st... the endorphins are the same!
We had to work a little on this one too, since we'd both seen a waterfall before and both stood next to one admiring it's beauty....BUT... We'd never asked a stranger in the car next to us to TAKE our picture beside the waterfall, who encouraged us to get a little closer.... not realizing I AM PETRIFIED of heights. So... this was the 1st time we'd stood together at a waterfall, entirely too close for my taste. And... the 1st time Butch had ever had someone grab his back in a "death grip clinch" while standing next to the waterfall... haha We do love this picture, and still laugh at what it took to get it.... most defiantly a 1st. (Thank you random man I will never see again.)
AND... now that I had my brave meter tested to the limit... I'd built my courage up... another 1st... so we stopped on the side of the road, took our shoes off and decided to walk through the river. Neither of us had done that before. AND... I had sure never climbed a pile of rocks to prove my new-found braveness was real.. haha You can see by the forced smile and the one hand clawing the side of the rock my braveness was fleeting. BUT... hey it was the 1st time I pretended to be BRAVE!
From gentle streams, to roaring rapids in the canyon...we stopped at every chance to spend the day at Yellowstone National Park creating our own 1sts.
Yes... many of them were contrived and crazy... but they were ours,
and I can tell you for sure... if you get a chance to have a 1st after age 50...
you should ALWAYS TAKE IT !
Montana is one of the most incredible places I have ever been in my life.
I can not begin to narrate with proper vocabulary
to expresses the profound awe
it felt to be a part of nature so untouched by human hands.
For me... it felt like we were walking with God,
in the simplicity of the original beauty that was 1st created.
If you have a Bucket-list... then you should for sure put Montana on it.
AND even more importantly... if this is NOT your 1st go round in life...
Start today building your own 1sts.
Use your own thoughts (lightbulb) to
experience the JOY of the chemicals released in your brain (the anatomy)
as you go through life knowing that someone's 2nds
can become their own type of 1st.
Release the sadness, anger, hurt, and blame you carry with you.
If you don't let go of the OLD... you don't have a hand left to grab the NEW!
Staci is a one-of-a-kind mix of JOY and Neuroscience who is teaching people all over the world to BUILD a BETTER BRAIN by using Gratitude to create a BRIGHTER future. She has a Master's Degree in Educational NEUROSCIENCE and 25 years of teaching experience where she developed a reputation for being able to uncover potential in others like no one else could. Let her teach you how to live a HAPPIER Life by using the neuroscience of GRATITUDE to rewire your brain and build a better future!