If you're like the majority of women in the world
(especially those over 30)
it's likely hard for you to take a compliment.
UP until a few days ago however,
I've never really paid any attention to it.
I recently read some research
behind the Neuroscience for how we accept,
or DON'T accept a compliment.
So..... let's take a closer look.
If, for example, someone gives you a compliment such as:
"I love your outfit. You look so good in that color."
Do you say:
1. "Thank you so much.
That's nice to hear because it's one of my favorite colors too." or
2. "This old thing. I've had this at least ten years."
Even the most simple of responses says something
about how YOUR BRAIN is processing the words they said to you.
In the 1st example,
cognitive wiring ACCEPTS the compliment with gratitude
and most likely a smile with some accompanying serotonin.
But... in the 2nd example,
it shows a subconscious disconnect
between the GIVERs words to the RECEIVERs acceptance.
This indicates an inability to believe those words about one's self.
Yes, it seems so simple, but.... I invite you to dig a little deeper
into the "WHY" behind your rejection in receiving those kind words.
Because, research shows that when we reject or shrug off a compliment
(even in a humorous manner)
it's like our brain is playing a game of HOT POTATO
with the compliment
because it does NOT have the internal wiring
or belief system
in the "goodness" of those words about itself,
and therefore MUST get RID OF IT !
So.... as you go about the rest of your week....
take note of the things you say
when someone says something kind to you.
AND.... make it your NEUROSCIENCE
homework this week
to give out several compliments
and see if you don't end up getting a potato right back in your face.
Sadly, this silly analogy is very indicative of the soaring rates of depression
over the last decade, as well as the massive decline in self-esteem;
and research shows that the issue is much more
than mere embarrassment over a few kind words.
In fact, it reveals an extremely complex
lack of wiring in our brains
toward the belief in our own GOODNESS.
Change the way your BRAIN sees itself
by beginning a practice of GRATITUDE.
Start each morning
by saying something KIND TO YOURSELF.
Look in the mirror and say THANK YOU....
and find at least 1 thing you like about yourself
and OWN IT!
If you'd like to know more
about how to change your brain
and begin a practice of LIFE TRANSFORMING GRATITUDE,
I'd love you to join us for the next
21 DAY GRATITUDE BOOST online class.
We begin on Oct. 1st.
You will be amazed at the power
of 21 days of SCIENTIFICALLY backed GRATITUDE.
Today is National Encouragement Day!
So.....today I would like for everyone
to truly absorb the SCIENCE behind ENCOURAGEMENT
and find someone out there to
give some to TODAY!
Of all the things we can give another person....
this one is FREE, but has the GREATEST impact!
National ENCOURAGEMENT Day comes deliberately
after the day our country had one of its greatest tragedies.
It is a beautiful reminder of the POWER
of encouragement and caring.
And.... is something we can ALL give
and EXPECT nothing in return.
That is the true meaning of GIVING!
In an excerpt from a 2019 article in PsychCentral by Therese J. Borchard,
she discusses exactly what ENCOURAGEMENT does in the HUMAN BRAIN
citing research from Dr. Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman
where they say,
"By holding a positive and optimistic [word] in your mind,
you stimulate frontal lobe activity.
This area includes specific language centers that connect directly to the motor cortex responsible for moving you into action.
And as our research has shown,
the longer you concentrate on positive words,
the more you begin to affect other areas of the brain.
Functions in the parietal lobe start to change, which changes your perception of yourself and the people you interact with.
A positive view of yourself will bias you
toward seeing the good in others,
whereas a negative self-image
will incline you toward suspicion and doubt.
Over time the structure of your thalamus will also change
in response to your conscious words, thoughts, and feelings, and we believe that the thalamic changes
affect the way in which you perceive reality."
And... if that's not enough to encourage you to START ENCOURAGING....
Watch this and see its effects in ACTION!
WOW... Next time you think that a little encouragement couldn't possibly matter... watch this video again and REMEMBER- IT DOES!
I challenge each of us today.... to find someone out there
and SPEAK words of encouragement into their lives!
BECAUSE.... not only are you changing their life, you are changing their BRAIN!
When one becomes worn out and worn down by life's busy path...
encouragement from those who hold you up
becomes something to be GRATEFUL for....
especially when some of those people are your children.
This week I saw a quote and an image on Facebook.
IT shook me in such a way that I thought I had to share it...
in order to help spread its message farther.
I have always said that we TEACH without TEACHING....
and what I mean by that is the eyes who watch us LIVE our lives
are learning how to live theirs by the examples that they see.
In particular our CHILDREN.
Our actions teach them:
* how to treat people,
* how to speak when you're upset,
* how much to give,
* how to express anger and sadness
(and most importantly)
* how to FEEL about themselves.
Here are a couple of incredible - short but POWERFUL videos showing the IMPACT of GRATITUDE through the eyes of CHILDREN!
If you have children...
take a moment today and tell them
how very GRATEFUL you are
to be given the chance to be their PARENT!
Tell each of them something special about themselves
that only you as a parent can see..... and be specific!
To my incredible, wonderful BRENT...
You are the LOVE of my life.
You are the first thing I ever loved and the one who showed me what unconditional love really looks like. I have always told you that you were born special, and it is my genuine privilege to be your mother. From the time you were just a little boy, your heart has always been soft, good and kind. I am so very proud of the man you have become and the character you have shown the world both- ON and OFF the field. In a world full of people, you have ALWAYS stood out in a crowd! Every young man you coach is better for being in your presence!
To my beautiful, bubbly BROOKLYN...
You are the JOY of my life....
From the day you were born, you have been
my little spit fire girl. The one who knows
what she wants and exactly HOW she's
gonna get it. You have made me laugh more
than anyone on this earth and been my
best friend when I felt all alone! You are truly
a ONE-IN-A-MILLION girl who brings joy to
so many. I am so so so proud of the nurse you
are and my heart swells with MOMMA LOVE
at how much you love the patients in your
care. I have told you since you were just
a toddling girl that "If I lined up all the girls in
the world, I'd pick YOU." and I still would!
To my amazing, blessed Brady...
You are the GIFT of my life...
From the very moment you were born, you have been the glue that makes us ALL family. You even used to tell me that "Jesus was holding you and holding you and then he handed you to me." And... I have always felt as if you were born with angel wings and the wisdom of those who've come before you. If I took the best of each of us and wrapped it into one little boy.... He would be YOU! You are brilliant and gentle and loving and full of LIFE. Your smile can light up a room and when you give a hug... it's so good it lasts all day long! You are my little Magic Bean that reminds me of Heaven.
To the lovely, delightful Deanna...
You are a blessing to my life...
I have told you many times that I
was worried about the woman Brent
would choose because I thought I may
have set them up for failure, since I'd
told him everything he'd done his whole
life was wonderful. BUT... little did I
know God had you all prepared to LOVE
my sweet boy and treat him as special as
his momma. You are such a crucial part
of our family and it has felt like
you belonged from the first Thanksgiving
I met you. Your heart is so full of love to
give while also being a woman driven to
be the BEST she can be all on her own.
You are beautiful inside and out. One of
my favorite things about you is that you
can dress up and look like you've
stepped out of VOUGE Magazine, or
wear your sweet pants right along with
the rest of us... all the while NEVER changing who you are or how you act. We are so lucky to have you
in our lives.
Today... Tell someone you LOVE how important they are to you....AND WHY!
Staci is a one-of-a-kind mix of JOY and Neuroscience who is teaching people all over the world to BUILD a BETTER BRAIN by using Gratitude to create a BRIGHTER future. She has a Master's Degree in Educational NEUROSCIENCE and 25 years of teaching experience where she developed a reputation for being able to uncover potential in others like no one else could. Let her teach you how to live a HAPPIER Life by using the neuroscience of GRATITUDE to rewire your brain and build a better future!