Hey there Grateful Friends,
Just reminding you that I am taking a little BLOG Break
so I can get moved into my new office and all my files transferred.
I will be back soon ready to go.
Stay tuned for LOTS of new information,
tips and tricks about how to LIVE a GRATEFUL LIFE!
In the mean time join us for 30 days of BRAIN Tips in the
Nerdy 30 Group. Click here check it out! www.facebook.com/groups/gratitudeboost/
Do you have a hangover?
A happiness hangover!
Is there even such a thing?
The answer to that question is a resounding YES!
Data shows that today.... is one of the highest
DEPRESSION based days of the year.
Why is that?
The answer to that question
is based on the downfall following
The Happiness High
after the holidays.
This day registers for many folks
much in the same way as Postpartum does.
Most of us are unaware of the fact
that a subconscious excitement brews
in the days leading up to the Holiday Season.
As we look forward to visiting with family,
putting up decorations, seeing the twinkling lights,
eating great food,
and living a few moments out of the year
where people are on their best behavior....
our brains are producing connections
and chemicals to register each of them
with the feelings of excitement and joy
(which is wonderful.... if you know how to continue those chemicals).
Often the holidays are linked to a great deal of dopamine
and other "feel good" chemicals....
whether those be from family, or even food.
Our brains also release those same chemicals (linked to happiness)
when we see holiday lights and hear sounds of once a year music.
And then...... there is TODAY....
when it's all OVER!
Leaving a mess to clean up,
decorations to put back in the attic,
lights to take down,
bills to somehow pay,
hyper kids home from school,
bodies that are feeling way toooooo full
(with hopes to finally start working out),
jobs to go back to and family that have all gone home.
That's why today is linked to such high rates of Depression and Anxiety!
So.... what can you do about that?
The answer is...to learn how to
change your brain chemicals
by finding new ways to
bring them back up to the Happiness High
they were on over the last month.
FIND SOMETHING else
to look forward to and work toward.
It's really that simple.
Our brain registers high levels
of endorphins when we are working for
and making progress toward a goal.....
even if that goal was unconsciously getting ready for Christmas.
And.... what better time than NOW!
as we are about to begin a new DECADE
...to start a new goal.
Did you know that there is a great deal
of data and research toward
how to set and actually achieve goals?
And even loads more data showing why
only a tiny percentage (1% of Americans)
actually achieve those goals.
The reason for that shocking number is quite simple.
The truth is....the reason most people
do NOT accomplish their goals,
is because 97% do NOT set them.
There is a HUGE difference between
setting a goal and making a new year's resolution.
Blanket resolutions (often the same ones you made last year)
tend to lead toward feeling of Depression
when you don't do them.
Goals.... (even small ones like getting up without hitting snooze)
release "feel good" endorphins in your brain......
each time you accomplish them,
and actually make it easier for you
to achieve larger goals.
It is so important for your brain,
to set small goals
(I call them Daily BABY STEPS)
to teach your brain to make neurological connections for you
to believe in yourself
(that you are the kind of person
who has the ability to reach your GOALS).
When you start achieving the little ones,
your brain creates connections for you to achieve the BIGGER ones.
Start today.... and give your brain & your life
the best gift this season......
CREATE neurological connections
for it to start BELIEVING
you have the ability to achieve greatness
(by setting DAILY Baby Step Goals)...
and before you know it,
YOU will be living
the life you've always wanted!
For the next 5 days
(until midnight on Dec. 31st) .....
I am offering my 10-to-WIN
Vision Board Training as a Complimentary Gift
(teaching you all the SCIENCE behind
goal setting and visualization)
when you register for
The January 21 Day GRATITUDE Boost Program.
Start your NEW Decade off like never before
with teaching, training, and daily encouragement
that can help you...
Use your BRAIN to Change your LIFE!
or simply.... get yourself a JOURNAL,
a notebook, or just a piece of paper
and write down your goals.
Put them somewhere you will see them daily,
and start doing Daily Baby Step Goals
to teach your brain
you can accomplish what you've set out to do.
REMEMBER....Each little accomplishment
will create a chemical rush in your brain
helping you to KEEP your HAPPINESS HIGH all year long.
What do you do when you know you SUCK?
A few months ago in the airport,
I was reminded of how I have lived 90% of my life.....
worrying about being GOOD enough!
As I was waiting for my luggage in baggage claim,
this little girl came up to me and said,
"YOUR hair looks JUST LIKE My BABY!"
bahaha.... You have to laugh at that!
What's funny though, is that morning,
as I was deciding whether or not to sleep in
or get up and wash my hair
before I headed to the airport....
I had that (oh so familiar)
internal BATTLE in my mind about.....
WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK OF ME?
because the truth of the matter is......
MY HAIR DID LOOK JUST AS BAD AS HER BABY!
AND.....If I am going to be totally honest,
I will tell you that stressing over what people think of me
is something that I worried about most of my life.
In fact, 80% of people, (especially women)
are plagued by this on a daily basis.
I've worried about people thinking:
She's too old to be doing that,
She's too loud,
She's been married too many times,
She's been a liar and a cheater,
She comes from many generations of addicts & divorces,
She has too many kids,
She's had plastic surgery,
She's had a garage that looks like storage wars,
She likes to go to GOODWILL,
She's got wrinkles and cellulite,
She wears too much jewelry,
She doesn't eat healthy,
and on and on and on and on..........
And the truth is..... YOU'D BE RIGHT!
I have been all of those things, in fact, some of them I still am.
AND.... people remind me of them often.
But, as I learn more and more about my brain
and more and more about GRATITUDE,
I can say.... I'm ok with that, and you can be too!
Because the Honest to God truth is....
we spend so much time and energy
trying to convince people that we're BETTER than our mistakes,
UNTIL we realize that those times you SUCKED
were the very things that have given you:
strength, courage, a willingness to be vulnerable, &
an ability to bounce back and try it all over again.
Your screw-ups have the ability to give you a fire and
a determination to help someone else who hurts
like no lessons you could have learned
without the experience of WALKING THROUGH IT!
So.... as I sit here today,
knowing we will ALL continue to have things we suck at,
and moments when we do NOT do well.....
I have finally learned that
our weakness are actually some of our GREATEST Strengths!
THIS IS THE TRUTH!
I canNOT sing a lick......
and hid this video from our trip to New York
(dying at how terrible I sounded).
Thinking that at 52 years old,
I should KNOW what "not to do"
until I realized that the JOY of this moment
was so much more important than being GOOD!
because.....even though I SUCKED
Here's what I would have MISSED!
Start today Living your LIFE without so much fear
of what everyone will think IF YOU SUCK....
because the truth is..... there will be times when you DO!
And when that happens, pat yourself on the back and say.....
"WOW.... You're BRAVE!"
If you'd like to know more
about how to use the Science of GRATITUDE to change your brain....
we'd love for you to join us.
We begin on January 1, 2020.
Change your thoughts and Change your Life!
My 12 year old son & I
try to have Date Night each Wednesday.
Tonight, we decided to eat soup &
watch The Animated GRINCH movie
next to the fireplace.
I've seen The Grinch many times,
& read the book to my older children .....
but this was the 1st time I've seen it
since I began my journey into Neuroscience.
And, boy-oh-boy was I overwhelmed
at the connections in this cute little movie
to all that I study and believe in!
I kept telling my son,
"This MOVIE is all about Neuroscience!"
After about the 5th time, he politely said.....
"Mom, can we just watch IT like a movie,
& not like a research study?" haha
Though, I didn't say anything else,
I continued to write down all the statements
made in the movie that were exactly what I teach.
AND, I have to say... I cried when I realized
that this movie is about so much more
than a grouch at Christmas.
It's about the pain of childhood
that carries on into adulthood.
As well as being about the protective systems
our MINDs develop after trauma from our youth.
Not to mention the judgment of others.....
and most importantly,
how a single person's kindness
can change the heart of someone in pain.
As Brady and I watched this cute movie....
I saw in that Green Monster
so much more than a GRINCH.
I saw an animated example of how
our BRAINS are wired to protect us,
& how the sadness, pains & dangers
of our childhood walk right along with us
straight into our adulthood.
Though the world is much less forgiving
of mean adults, most likely...
they are just broken children
who never had a chance to heal.
Youthful trauma locks into our Brain's Amygdala
(as a safety mechanism),
to keep us from ever feeling that pain again.
However, in an attempt to keep us safe,
it reminds us of EXACTLY how bad it hurt
by "triggering" those exact wiring systems
each time any similar situation arises.
Chances are.... if we will take a moment
to analyze our negative emotions....
we will probably find that they are buried
much deeper than the present moment.
Today.... take a look at the childhood
version of yourself & see what hurts
have followed you into the present.
Maybe its time you let them go.
Tell your amygdala "you've got this"....
Choose to reevaluate your "triggers"
so that you can move forward in 2020
with a clean, GRATEFUL brain.
If you'd like to learn HOW your BRAIN works
& receive practical ways to change
those childhood wiring systems...
I'd love for you to join us
on Jan. 1, 2020 for 21 days
of BRAIN BUILDING GRATITUDE,
so you can move forward in this brand new decade
Living A GRATEFUL Life!
We've all heard the phrase.....
"I'm sorry, it was an accident!"
BUT.... one place you've NEVER heard anyone say that...
is about a LIFE they LOVE!
Because, incredible lives don't happen by chance or by accident.
Those kind of lives happen because someone, somewhere,
did something to build that life.
When I began to study how the brain worked,
I saw so many reasons as to why my "LIFE"
didn't seem to end up where I had intended it to go.
My THOUGHTS were controlling my FEELINGS,
and my FEELINGS were controlling my ACTIONS,
and my ACTIONS were controlling my HABITS,
and my HABITS were controlling my LIFE!
How had I not seen this sooner?
I discovered, right there in the middle
of piles of research
& stacks of books
that it was NOT the BIG moments
that made someone describe their life as GREAT.....
but it was in fact, the LITTLE HABITS & Daily Practices
that changed the course of someone's life
to the point in which they described it as GREAT!
So, as we embark upon a NEW decade....
let's all build a foundation for a life we can call GREAT,
by beginning with little changes in our daily THOUGHT HABITS.
UPgrade your BRAIN in 2020.
How do you do that you might ask?
The first, and most important step is to UPgrade your THOUGHTS!
Trust me when I say..... they are not harmless.
EACH and every single one of them
are creating connections in your brain-
which are causing either chemical or
electrical signals throughout your body.
Science will tell you that the cells in your body
regenerate themselves about every 7 years....
the problem with that is ....
we keep our same MINDSET
each time we are given the gift of new cells.
SAME MINDSET=SAME BODY!
So, if you are wanting a new body,
new habits, a new life, new friends, new ANYTHING....
you will NOT get it with the same THOUGHTS
that got you the one you have right now!
That is a fact!
Leo Tolstoy said it best
"Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but few of them begin with changing themselves."
Make a PLAN for your new year.
#1. Begin with 3 goals and 3 habits
that you want to change this year.
#2. Make a chart, or get a calendar,
or use the notes on your phone
and WRITE THEM DOWN.
#3. Read them every morning and every night....
#4. Take one baby step toward your 1st goal
every day until you have it.
There are loads of research studies to back this up.
People don't change their lives
until they change their daily HABITS.
Make your 2020 a year to remember
by building new habits & taking
daily baby steps toward your dreams!
most all of us have heard them,
but more importantly...
most ALL of us have used them!!!
As I am approaching my 53rd birthday,
I have begun to feel the "sting" of age creeping up on me....
especially when I get worn-down and tired.
In moments of exhaustion, frustration, and overwhelm,
I've caught myself several times recently thinking of
excuses for why things didn't go like I wanted.
Almost instantly- our MINDS can go to
* I've been working so hard and I didn't have time
or * I can't do things like that
or *I don't have the money to do that
or * I'm too old for that
BUT.... today, I got to hug and visit
with Anne Lorimor,
who is now officially
The Guinness Book World Record Holder
for the oldest person EVER to climb Mount Kilimanjaro
at the age of 89.
It was exactly 1 year ago today
that I met this kind, gentle, INCREDIBLE woman,
and it was my honor
to get to visit with her today......
once again reminding and inspiring me
that excuses are ONLY as powerful as our mind lets them be!
There are people all over the world
who have accomplished things that others would feel impossible.
WHY is that?
Neuroscience will tell you it's because of a MINDSET shift.
I know.... many of you are thinking,
"You just don't know what I've been through,
or you just don't understand my life"....
and you'd be right- I DON'T.
But... I do know this:
There are people with no arms or legs who swim and run marathons,
There are homeless people who become millionaires,
There are people who have suffered unimaginable abuse
who grew up to live productive lives,
There are people who have been alcoholics
for most of their lives who stop drinking,
and..... if there was 1, then there can be 2.
So, let's all make a vow to learn a lesson from Anne Lorimor,
and STOP MAKING EXCUSES.
Yes, it will be hard.
Yes, it will likely hurt....
and Yes, it may cost you something.
But, of all the things I have learned
along this journey into how the brain works-
THIS ONE is at the top of my list:
We are what our MIND believes we ARE!
Henry Ford said it best,
"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't - You're RIGHT!"
May we all move into the final month of this DECADE knowing that what we THINK we can do in 2020 is all a matter of how we use our excuses.
WHAT the heck did you just say........... to yourself?
Neuroscience will tell you that the average person has about 60,000 thoughts a day, and I bet you didn't realize that almost 80% of those thoughts are negative.
You might be saying "NO WAY that's true!" ...... but let's look at some of the SILENT THOUGHT THIEVES walking around unchecked in your mind.
1. I'm so tired
2. I can't deal with these kids
3. I hate Monday's
4. We don't have any food
5. This house is a mess
6. My butt looks huge in these pants
7. My hair is CRAZY today
8. My wrinkles are taking over my face
9. My kids are going down the wrong path
10. My job is sucking the life out of me
Mistakingly we're taught that something has to be really mean to be harmful.... HOWEVER modern science will tell you this is just NOT TRUE!
The toxic effects of our inner critic
are running rampant in our own MIND
- playing actual, measurable havoc on your BRAIN.
I have people tell me all the time
that they aren't a pessimist
they're a realist.
And... I'm here to challenge that statement
with some data that many people may not be aware of.
Research data shows that 90% of negative SELF-TALK is COMPLETELY unhelpful in any way.... leaving only 10% of it as thoughts that encourage you to move toward improvement.
For example: when you try on those jeans and you silently THINK to yourself:
1. I look like crap in these jeans
2. My butt looks HUGE
3. I shouldn't have eaten any birthday cake last night
4. I don't have anything I look good in right now
5. I'm just going to stay home a big, fat loser.
Within a matter of SECONDS... you've bombarded yourself with loads of Negative Talk and unknowingly you just dumped LOADS OF NEGATIVE CHEMICALS into your BRAIN: and the THOUGHT THIEF has just taken off with MIND!
So.... How do you learn to silence that negative inner critic?
1. AWARENESS- you cannot change anything you aren't aware of, so the next time you feel your "THIEF" taking over. CATCH him, and just pause and be proud of the fact you knew he was there.
2. Give you "THIEF" a name. I know.... this sounds crazy, but it works. It also helps separate yourself from the thought. When we see yourself as a PERSON and the thought as "George".... then it's much easier to remove him.
3. Remember THOUGHTS aren't real...... they're just an opinion running free in your mind.
and if you really want to step it up a notch and CATCH YOUR THIEF to remove him forever :
4. Say "your negative self-talk OUT LOUD" most of us would never say what we THINK out loud, but we do it within the confines of our mind feeling as if it's harmless. I am here to tell you IT ISN'T!
5. Ask yourself "Would you say this to a friend?" Because, chances are HIGH that you wouldn't..... so why not treat yourself as a FRIEND!
Start today realizing that those silent negative thoughts you say to yourself:
ARE TOXIC- and catch them before they poison your own MIND!
What happens when bad habits, hurtful experiences
or bad memories from your past
keep raising their ugly head in your PRESENT?
Our tendency is to RESIST those unpleasant feelings-
hoping to AVOID PAIN....
however, most people are unaware that RESISTANCE
(or the mental focus on what you DON'T want)
is actually creating a multitude of cognitive and
emotionally charged pathways in the brain.
Feeling pain, whether it be an emotional or physical,
creates a response system- or instinct in our brain
to AVOID or REMOVE it.
For example if your hand touches a hot oven,
we instinctively remove it to avoid the pain.....
but, just like physical pain,
if we don't understand the "WHY" of our pain,
we are highly likely to repeat it.
Even when we are physically ill -
PAIN IS NOT THE CAUSE of the problem,
it is the the SYMPTOM of another issue.
Take a simple headache for example.
We all want to quickly grab an Advil to get the pain to go away....
but, if we don't understand the CAUSE of the headache,
we are simply masking the problem.
Our highly REACTIVE emotional brain
tricks us sometimes, into thinking
that resisting what hurts or scares us,
is actually the best method.
However, avoidance is the brain's way
of putting off identifying the CAUSE of the pain
when we aren't yet willing or able,
to tackle the hurtful experiences in our lives.
Let's take the pain of a broken relationship.
Yes... it's true that this pain hurts so bad
you feel like you may explode from agony.
AND.. yes, we want to avoid feeling that pain
ever again (rightly so)....
but if the pain is only MASKED
rather than addressed,
statistics show the likelihood of it popping up
in other areas is extremely high....
whether that be your health,
an addiction created to help numb emotions,
or a repeat mistake- thinking the other person was the problem,
only to find yourself in the exact situation again.
Famous Psychologist Carl Jung said that
"What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size."
Unknowingly when we resist something,
we are moving our brain into a DEFENSIVE state of thinking
(giving all the power to the "thing")
in an effort to just avoid it-
rather than moving to an OFFENSIVE state
(taking our own power) to create a well thought-out a plan of attack.
Look at the image below of a man RESISTING
all the weight pushing against the door.
When we are resisting...
ALL of our Energy is spent fighting against the force,
leaving none for ourselves!
In thousands of lives every day...
this is exactly what is happening.
Well meaning people are trying to avoid pain by pushing it away.
But every thought and effort to KEEP IT AWAY
is creating more and more neuron pathways in your brain
(with each and every thought of avoidance).
Hebb's Law of Neuroscience says
"Neurons that fire together wire together" ....
so HOW do you stop resisting
those terrible memories, habits and life situations?
Here are a few steps that will get you started!
The first step to moving your brain into an OFFENSIVE state of healing is to:
1. CLEARLY identify the true problem- even if your problem is drug abuse, that's NOT the real problem, that the the effect of an underlying problem which later turns into an additional physical problem. Ask yourself, "what are you trying to numb, what are you masking, why do you feel you need this?" The answer to THIS.... is the real problem.
2. STOP taking your past issue into your current life. In this country we carry shame and guilt with us almost like a badge of honor. Most studies say that the reason people continue to feel guilt is to remind themselves NEVER to do it again... however, data shows that doesn't work, because the true PROBLEM was never addressed. Find the real issue and FACE it. (Think of your guilt and shame as a bag of rocks.... is carrying it around with you into the present doing anyone any good? All it's doing is making your life HEAVY and keeping you from moving forward with enough energy to help anyone else....
3. FORGIVE yourself or someone else. I have said many times that FORGIVENESS is a gift you give yourself. Mistakingly people think forgiveness means you're weak, or that you've let someone off the hook.... but data shows that people who carry a great deal of anger and unforgiveness have massively higher health related issues. It has been said that being unforgiving is like carrying someone else's poison. It leaves you TOTALLY responsible .
4. CHANGE your perspective. Don't focus on what you lost, or the pain of what could have been, or the anguish of how WRONGED you were. Remember what you focus on grows neuron pathways in your brain. Is that really what you want growing in your head? Begin looking at it through a perspective of WHAT you learned that you could have learned no other way. Maybe it is just how to spot a cheater, or maybe it is the results and pain of drugs, or maybe it is just realizing that you need to give your 25 year old self a break because you cannot judge what you would do NOW with the experience of what you knew then. As Maya Angelou said "WHEN you know better do better!"
If you've ever wondered
if GRATITUDE was
just a bunch of WHOO WHOO....
then this is for you.
I was recently asked to be a guest on the Podcast
Mindset Meets Mastery
where I was asked that exact question.
Click the link below to listen in:
Today was one of those A-HA kind of days
in which you SEE something
you've looked at a thousand times
in a totally different way.
This afternoon I spoke at a Springtown Elementary School
for RED RIBBON WEEK
to an excited group of "little" friends.
As I looked out at nearly 600 faces,
I had to work hard NOT to cry.
After spending almost 25 years of my life in a school,
I thought I'd felt everything there was to "FEEL"
inside those brick walls.
But, for some reason,
today hit me with a new revelation
as to how extremely important a teacher's job is.
Watching those little smiles,
witnessing those wiggles, giggles and excitement
in some of the most well behaved kids I've ever observed
(from the opposite side of the stage)
helped me to SEE children with new eyes.
It was a genuine honor to share (with my new "little" friends)
how vitally important it is,
for people OF ANY AGE,
to understand how their BRAIN works,
and what to do with it when we get upset.
Being inside an Elementary School today
was such a HUGE reminder
of the incredible responsibility we have
to those who count on us for leadership.
Whether it be your own children or grandchildren,
your employees, your team, your friends,
or a group of almost 600 strangers....
the task is still the same!
Do they see something in you
that helps them grow,
or do you make them feel small.
As I drove home today,
I was filled with a new sense of urgency
to help adults become more aware
of how crucial it is to teach the children in our lives
the importance of REAL GRATITUDE.....
which is so much more than saying "thank-you".
Statistics from universities around the globe
show that being truly GRATEFUL is a behavioral game changer.
Research also shows that the best way
for a child to become a grateful teenager
is for them to have seen GRATITUDE
from someone they love and admire.
It's so much easier to create good habits
that help us gain control of negative feelings
before years of "bad" wiring
have created brain patterns
we later want to change.
Who knew such a life altering,
eye opening experience
would come through the eyes of a child.
If you'd like to know some practical ways
to build a practice of GRATITUDE
with the children in your life...
I'd love to send you my
Building Family Gratitude List.
Just email me using the form below
and ask for the "Daily Dozen"
and I will send it to you free of charge.
May we all start today
being an example
for our "little" friends to follow....
because even when we don't want them to-
Have you ever had a negative thought?
The kind you keep playing over and over in your head.
Did you realize that each time you THINK about it or tell the "story",
your MIND makes the THOUGHTs worse?
And.... with each-next worse, imaginary repetition,
you get your emotions involved
which makes the thoughts in your MIND become REAL.
I've heard for years that when you're upset
you need to VENT or just "LET your anger out"
but neuroscience research does NOT support that statement.
In fact, it is quite the contrary.
Brain scans show that each time we repeat a hurtful
or negative situation in our MINDS
we make those connections stronger.
And....when we tell someone about it
(with the same intense feelings as the original altercation)
we are causing a reaction in our brain
that is almost identical
to the ACTUAL moment it occurred.
WOW... do I wish I could go back and get a "redo"
on some of the things I have told myself OVER and OVER and OVER.
That's why hatred builds,
and anxiety heightens.
With each repeating of the mental "STORY"
we are making the connections in our brain deep and strong.
Which is also exactly why GRATITUDE works.
Any thought repeated over and over again GROWS!
What thoughts are you repeating?
So.... if letting the negative feelings OUT
causes them to make lasting neurological connections.
What in the heck are we supposed to do
when we're hurting or feeling upset.
Data by leading neuroscience researcher
and best selling author of
Words Can Change Your Brain-Mark Robert Waldman,
and Dr. Andrew Newberg say that
"Expressing anger is destructive, but this doesn't mean
we should completely repress negative feelings.
That too can be quite damaging."
Research shows that one of the most constructive ways
to deal with unwanted emotions
is to BECOME AWARE OF THEM!
Though that may sound trivial,
it is also precisely what makes GRATITUDE work as well.
When we become consciously AWARE of our emotions- GOOD OR BAD,
we become the boss of them
rather than them being the boss of us.
Further research states that
NAMING your emotion is crucial to moving THROUGH it.
So... the next time you are AWARE of your negative feelings.
STOP, take a deep breath
and become aware of your sadness, anger, or guilt.
Say to yourself, "I am feeling hurt
because someone treated me as if I don't matter.
That makes me feel invisible and unimportant."
Instantly, by naming your emotion,
you have caused the brain to move into thinking mode
rather than emotional mode.
And... that is the key!
No one can think their best, or make the best choice in an emotional moment.
Then... take another deep breath
and let the "WHY" statement soak in,
because that is the source of your sadness-
the other person just set off the trigger.
Start today taking control of your Negative Thoughts
before they start making connections in your brain!
Today marked a pivotal moment in my GRATITUDE journey,
as I signed the papers-
SELLING a piece of River-front property, I once dearly LOVED.
BUT... thanks to a truly "CHANGED" brain,
my entire perspective toward this day was ALTERED!
When my ex-husband and I bought this land, over a decade ago,
we had BIG plans to one day move here
and live a life with a water front view.
I love the WATER!
I love the sound it makes as it flows
and the way it glistens in the sunlight.
I love to watch the movement of a river
and how the currents are gentle but always flowing.
I love the smell of water (especially after it rains),
and I love to float in the water with beams of glowing heat on my skin.
"And this afternoon.... those moments were over!
However, I can truly say....
I did them with a smile on my face
and a warmth in my heart.
Because, today, I was keenly aware
of how the practice of GRATITUDE has changed me.
Rather than being sad about
all the things I would no longer be able to do on this water,
or all the plans that went by the way-side...
I was honestly filled with a sense of peace,
knowing I still have things more wonderful
than I can imaging yet ahead.
It was in the exact moment that I signed my name
on the final line, that I felt one of
the most POWERFUL moments of GRATITUDE I have ever felt...
when I "Released" this property
as a GIFT of love for those who will come next.
I closed my eyes and wished them wonderful days of sunshine, love and water.
I felt my heart FILL past overflow with sincere blessings
for the many wonderful memories
they will surely have along the water's edge.
I walked out of that Title company office
glowing with a pure sense of TRANSFORMATION.
My heart knew that just a few short years ago
I wouldn't have been able to "FEEL" this way.
And rather than feeling sad,
I am almost giddy with joy for what lies ahead
for my family as we look forward
to all the incredible things yet to come.
I saw so clearly today what the Bible says about
"Letting go of those things which are behind
and reaching forward to that which lies ahead."
So.... it is with GREAT Anticipation that I reach forward
with an overflowing peace
knowing my steps were planned for me long ago,
and it is up to me to BE GRATEFUL for the journey.
I treasure every wonderful memory I had on the banks of this RIVER,
but know beyond a shadow of a doubt
that I have wonderful memories on the road ahead.
GRATITUDE has taught me many lessons over the last few years,
but none as POWERFUL as what I witnessed within my own heart today.
Sometimes life doesn't turn out like you planned....
but did you ever stop and think
that THERE IS SOMETHING more incredible
than you could have imagined still in front of you.
When we hold on to bitterness, sadness and resentment,
we have no hands left to grab the glory that stands ahead.
What are you holding on to that is stealing your joy?
My greatest advice is to BLESS and Release it.
May we all walk forward in our journeys ahead
with a clean heart and a GRATEFUL mind.
Today I began training at the Brain Performance Institute
with The University of Texas at Dallas
to get a certificate in EMOTIONAL Intelligence.
It was such an eye opening experience
seeing the OPPOSITE side of GRATITUDE.
And... even though I've been studying the brain
every single day for many years now,
I am always in awe at the amount of knowledge
that continues to unfold daily
about our AMAZING BRAINS.
EMOTIONS are always a hot topic when you discuss relationships.
And, instinctively we know that they can MAKE or BREAK not only our day;
but also impact our attitude toward every interaction.
However, I was totally unaware (until today)
of how LONG it takes our brains to
regain their full THINKING capacity
after we've had a negatively charged emotional situation.....
even if that situation involved NO WORDS!
So....GET READY..... wait for it....... you're not going to believe this......
it takes 18 MINUTES
for the chemicals produced in the brain
(after a negative EMOTIONAL situation)
to get back to a place where we have
our FULL, BEST, THINKING abilities.
I don't know about you,
but I don't have 18 minutes to waste.
However, now I see
why things often go from Bad to Worse
in the middle of an EMOTIONALLY charged moment-
Which makes... Controlling the MIND, vitally important.
I will be talking more in the next few weeks about the ways
we can REGAIN our highest and best thinking abilities,
but..... at the very top of that list
is a DEEP breath and a few moments of MINDFUL Awareness,
(which we were also privileged to get to participate in today as well).
WOW oh WOW what a MIND-BLOWING day!
So.... the next time you feel yourself getting emotionally agitated,
STOP and take a deep breath.
Though we've all heard about how BREATHING can change our heart rate,
few people realize it also alters the oxygenation capacities in the BRAIN
.....especially in an upsetting moment.
And.....here's a little unsolicited TIP:
DON'T TALK when you're MAD....
because more than likely.... you'll regret it!
And.... now I know why,
it takes 18 minutes to get your chemicals
back to ideal thinking mode
(unless you train your brain to change) !
15 minutes of Mindful Meditation
can relax the BRAIN as much as an hour of sleep,
and some research shows it's like a cleaning for your brain.
So, give it a try.
There are tons of options for free guided
relaxation meditations online to choose from.
Find one that works for you.... and give your BRAIN a bath!
If you're like the majority of women in the world
(especially those over 30)
it's likely hard for you to take a compliment.
UP until a few days ago however,
I've never really paid any attention to it.
I recently read some research
behind the Neuroscience for how we accept,
or DON'T accept a compliment.
So..... let's take a closer look.
If, for example, someone gives you a compliment such as:
"I love your outfit. You look so good in that color."
Do you say:
1. "Thank you so much.
That's nice to hear because it's one of my favorite colors too." or
2. "This old thing. I've had this at least ten years."
Even the most simple of responses says something
about how YOUR BRAIN is processing the words they said to you.
In the 1st example,
cognitive wiring ACCEPTS the compliment with gratitude
and most likely a smile with some accompanying serotonin.
But... in the 2nd example,
it shows a subconscious disconnect
between the GIVERs words to the RECEIVERs acceptance.
This indicates an inability to believe those words about one's self.
Yes, it seems so simple, but.... I invite you to dig a little deeper
into the "WHY" behind your rejection in receiving those kind words.
Because, research shows that when we reject or shrug off a compliment
(even in a humorous manner)
it's like our brain is playing a game of HOT POTATO
with the compliment
because it does NOT have the internal wiring
or belief system
in the "goodness" of those words about itself,
and therefore MUST get RID OF IT !
So.... as you go about the rest of your week....
take note of the things you say
when someone says something kind to you.
AND.... make it your NEUROSCIENCE
homework this week
to give out several compliments
and see if you don't end up getting a potato right back in your face.
Sadly, this silly analogy is very indicative of the soaring rates of depression
over the last decade, as well as the massive decline in self-esteem;
and research shows that the issue is much more
than mere embarrassment over a few kind words.
In fact, it reveals an extremely complex
lack of wiring in our brains
toward the belief in our own GOODNESS.
Change the way your BRAIN sees itself
by beginning a practice of GRATITUDE.
Start each morning
by saying something KIND TO YOURSELF.
Look in the mirror and say THANK YOU....
and find at least 1 thing you like about yourself
and OWN IT!
If you'd like to know more
about how to change your brain
and begin a practice of LIFE TRANSFORMING GRATITUDE,
I'd love you to join us for the next
21 DAY GRATITUDE BOOST online class.
We begin on Oct. 1st.
You will be amazed at the power
of 21 days of SCIENTIFICALLY backed GRATITUDE.
Today is National Encouragement Day!
So.....today I would like for everyone
to truly absorb the SCIENCE behind ENCOURAGEMENT
and find someone out there to
give some to TODAY!
Of all the things we can give another person....
this one is FREE, but has the GREATEST impact!
National ENCOURAGEMENT Day comes deliberately
after the day our country had one of its greatest tragedies.
It is a beautiful reminder of the POWER
of encouragement and caring.
And.... is something we can ALL give
and EXPECT nothing in return.
That is the true meaning of GIVING!
In an excerpt from a 2019 article in PsychCentral by Therese J. Borchard,
she discusses exactly what ENCOURAGEMENT does in the HUMAN BRAIN
citing research from Dr. Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman
where they say,
"By holding a positive and optimistic [word] in your mind,
you stimulate frontal lobe activity.
This area includes specific language centers that connect directly to the motor cortex responsible for moving you into action.
And as our research has shown,
the longer you concentrate on positive words,
the more you begin to affect other areas of the brain.
Functions in the parietal lobe start to change, which changes your perception of yourself and the people you interact with.
A positive view of yourself will bias you
toward seeing the good in others,
whereas a negative self-image
will incline you toward suspicion and doubt.
Over time the structure of your thalamus will also change
in response to your conscious words, thoughts, and feelings, and we believe that the thalamic changes
affect the way in which you perceive reality."
And... if that's not enough to encourage you to START ENCOURAGING....
Watch this and see its effects in ACTION!
WOW... Next time you think that a little encouragement couldn't possibly matter... watch this video again and REMEMBER- IT DOES!
I challenge each of us today.... to find someone out there
and SPEAK words of encouragement into their lives!
BECAUSE.... not only are you changing their life, you are changing their BRAIN!
When one becomes worn out and worn down by life's busy path...
encouragement from those who hold you up
becomes something to be GRATEFUL for....
especially when some of those people are your children.
This week I saw a quote and an image on Facebook.
IT shook me in such a way that I thought I had to share it...
in order to help spread its message farther.
I have always said that we TEACH without TEACHING....
and what I mean by that is the eyes who watch us LIVE our lives
are learning how to live theirs by the examples that they see.
In particular our CHILDREN.
Our actions teach them:
* how to treat people,
* how to speak when you're upset,
* how much to give,
* how to express anger and sadness
(and most importantly)
* how to FEEL about themselves.
Here are a couple of incredible - short but POWERFUL videos showing the IMPACT of GRATITUDE through the eyes of CHILDREN!
If you have children...
take a moment today and tell them
how very GRATEFUL you are
to be given the chance to be their PARENT!
Tell each of them something special about themselves
that only you as a parent can see..... and be specific!
To my incredible, wonderful BRENT...
You are the LOVE of my life.
You are the first thing I ever loved and the one who showed me what unconditional love really looks like. I have always told you that you were born special, and it is my genuine privilege to be your mother. From the time you were just a little boy, your heart has always been soft, good and kind. I am so very proud of the man you have become and the character you have shown the world both- ON and OFF the field. In a world full of people, you have ALWAYS stood out in a crowd! Every young man you coach is better for being in your presence!
To my beautiful, bubbly BROOKLYN...
You are the JOY of my life....
From the day you were born, you have been
my little spit fire girl. The one who knows
what she wants and exactly HOW she's
gonna get it. You have made me laugh more
than anyone on this earth and been my
best friend when I felt all alone! You are truly
a ONE-IN-A-MILLION girl who brings joy to
so many. I am so so so proud of the nurse you
are and my heart swells with MOMMA LOVE
at how much you love the patients in your
care. I have told you since you were just
a toddling girl that "If I lined up all the girls in
the world, I'd pick YOU." and I still would!
To my amazing, blessed Brady...
You are the GIFT of my life...
From the very moment you were born, you have been the glue that makes us ALL family. You even used to tell me that "Jesus was holding you and holding you and then he handed you to me." And... I have always felt as if you were born with angel wings and the wisdom of those who've come before you. If I took the best of each of us and wrapped it into one little boy.... He would be YOU! You are brilliant and gentle and loving and full of LIFE. Your smile can light up a room and when you give a hug... it's so good it lasts all day long! You are my little Magic Bean that reminds me of Heaven.
To the lovely, delightful Deanna...
You are a blessing to my life...
I have told you many times that I
was worried about the woman Brent
would choose because I thought I may
have set them up for failure, since I'd
told him everything he'd done his whole
life was wonderful. BUT... little did I
know God had you all prepared to LOVE
my sweet boy and treat him as special as
his momma. You are such a crucial part
of our family and it has felt like
you belonged from the first Thanksgiving
I met you. Your heart is so full of love to
give while also being a woman driven to
be the BEST she can be all on her own.
You are beautiful inside and out. One of
my favorite things about you is that you
can dress up and look like you've
stepped out of VOUGE Magazine, or
wear your sweet pants right along with
the rest of us... all the while NEVER changing who you are or how you act. We are so lucky to have you
in our lives.
Today... Tell someone you LOVE how important they are to you....AND WHY!
If you ask people what they WANT more than anything else in their life....
the VAST MAJORITY, without hesitation, will say.... happiness.
Then, if you ask them what they want for their children...
the percentage who say happiness - goes up even higher.
So, if everyone is WANTING happiness, why don't we have it?
I have personally been in that EXACT boat,
rowing around looking for happiness.
And, of course I would find it on occasion.
Sometimes it would last for weeks, sometimes months,
and a few times it even stayed around several YEARS.
But, it wasn't until I began to understand
that I realized WHY it never lasted.
The answer to THAT question
actually sits right INSIDE the very question itself.
People want HAPPINESS,
but MOST of us are totally unaware
that the word happiness
comes from the Indo-European root HAP
without exception, as far back as Ancient Greek Civilization,
which means LUCK!
So.... happiness, or happy
refers to happenstance
or a CHANCE HAPPENING-
NO WONDER I was never able to HOLD ON to my happiness.
The word itself means it is based on WHAT WAS HAPPENING in my LIFE.....
so, when it was good, I was happy, and when it was bad, I was upset.
I know that many people reading this are saying....
DUH..... of course that's how it works.
BUT... that's the difference in GRATITUDE!
That's NOT how it works.
SCIENTIFIC Gratitude (the kind that has FEELING)
is not based on what's happening
and CAN be taught and practiced
REGARDLESS of one's circumstances.
And... GRATITUDE teaches you to enjoy the HAPPY moments differently
so that they create lasting connections in the brain
releasing chemicals throughout your body
to produce happiness!
Take a look at my recent trip to New York with my family.
OF COURSE this was an easy one to be happy about
because the (EVENTS (happenstance) surrounding me were in my favor),
however, I could have also chosen to focus on
the stress of being in a BIG CITY,
the worry of the subway,
all the zillion stories I'd heard about muggers and dangerous drivers;
but I focused on the fact that
I had my 2 precious grown children there with me
and their significant others,
as well as my son's dear in-law family who I call my own.
I truly cherished EVERY minute
and stopped to FEEL the moments
as I looked at their grown-up bodies,
watched their adult smiles,
listened to their sibling laughter,
WHILE we felt the stressful hustle and bustle of the big city.
I HELD-ON to these memories
in a way I never used to understand,
because happiness is short-lived
and often fleeting... based on the MOMENT, but
GRATITUDE is a genuine sense of awe
that you can hold on to for a LIFETIME!
One of my favorite scientists, and world renowned GRATITUDE expert, Dr. Robert Emmons said it best... "Happiness is an inch deep and an inch wide and changes quickly but GRATITUDE is a mile deep and a mile wide and can withstand the storm."
Start today building a life with a goal to be GRATEFUL rather than HAPPY.
JOIN us for the 21 day GRATITUDE BOOST online course.
Starting September 1st
21 days could change your LIFE!
Today on the BLOg.... Just add SCIENCE, and maybe some coffee too!
I've talked very openly about how I tried for years to "GET HAPPY"
(even with a big smile on my face)
and became obsessed with reading books about it
and trying everything I could find to "get IT" for myself.
Nothing seemed to work in the long run though,
until I began learning about my brain.
When our professor explained how EMOTIONAL situations lock-in
our memory banks very differently than other life events... I was hooked.
Then we went on to learn how our brains are built to protect us
from the emotional traumas of our past
and remind us ANY TIME a situation similar to that feels TRIGGERED.
The problem with that however,
is that our brains log the information from a perspective
of the situation you were in AT THAT MOMENT,
and it doesn't differentiate that THIS ONE
comes from a new place in our life.
ALL your brain remembers
is THIS HURT,
or THIS SCARED YOU,
or THIS IS DANGEROUS,
and it starts sending in the chemicals for your body
to "REACT" as if it is in that SAME SITUATION again
so that you can take appropriate action.
This is my issue I am dealing with at the moment!
I was in a 4 car pile up a few years ago
where a man hit me from behind and pushed me
into the car in front of me and then that car into another car.
So..... My little car got smashed from the front and the back.
This seems bad enough,
but BRADY, my son (who was 9 at the time) was in the backseat
where the blunt force of the hit landed.
Any mother out there will know
the immediate fear that comes with something like that.
We were both fine, but I can tell you my BRAIN has NOT let that go!
I feel my own fear rising every single time I get in the car,
and I watch the rearview mirror constantly.
After that event, I was hit in the back of the car 2 other times
over the course of the following year,
both from people ON THEIR PHONES....
so now the fear has risen even higher.
My brain logged that fear and protection for my son
into my emotional brain,
and now each time I see a car coming (what I feel like is too close)
in the rearview mirror, I have to really talk myself off the PANIC ledge.
That's the same thing we do with every UPSETTING emotion!
And often times we blame someone
for REMINDING us of something
that was done to us by SOMEONE ELSE!
That's where SCIENCE can play a role that other methods do not offer.
Here is a great site for those of you who want to dig a little deeper into TRIGGERS.
Understanding how to CATCH your "Triggers"
is crucial to changing your emotional path.
I have said numerous times.... and still hold firm
to the theory
that most people don't have 20 fights,
instead they have 1 fight 20 times.
And sadly, we often take out our negative emotions on those we love the most (unknowingly) because they've said or done something that set off our emotional TRIGGER.
If you'd like to know more about "CATCHING" your triggers
and how GRATITUDE can be used to counteract them,
I'd love you to join us in the 21 Day GRATITUDE BOOST eCourse.
thegratitudebusiness.com/gratitude-programs/Click HERE for more details.
Or, if you'd like to work on this on your own,
try using a journal for the next few weeks
keeping tabs of each time you feel-
and jot down EXACTLY what was happening at the time!
It's that time of year again when EVERYTHING gets CRAZY!!!
Did you realize that other than the end of the year holiday season,
BACK TO SCHOOL
is one of the most stressful times of the year? Well it is!!!
I can tell you that at our house,
I personally feel the most pressure in the mornings
while we're all scurrying around trying to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!
Someone always forgets something,
didn't finish something,
or just plain old can't stand something....
and once that negative ball starts rolling...........
it just seems to roll and roll and roll
straight DOWN the HILL toward
an AWEFUL, TERRIBLE very BAD DAY!
So... is there anything that can be done about that.
The first step is being aware of those NEGATIVE feelings
that are roaming around in your house unchecked.
You know the kind.... the ones that linger for days,
the silent treatment, or the door slamming, or just plain ole' yelling.
Take a DEEP breath, count to 5 and
STOP them before they move in.
Watch this video for a few tricks we use at our house
to bring GRATITUDE back
in those moments of FRUSTRATION!
START today building NEW HABITS
for dealing with the BACK to School Business
by building the practice GRATITUDE into your daily lives.
Children are the most susceptible to changing their BEHAVIOR
when they see it modeled for them.
BE the person that someone else wants to be
rather than trying to FORCE someone to change.
We ALL know that doesn't work and it NEVER lasts.
In fact, statistics on the overall success rates for rehabilitation centers
averages between 2-20%.
PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO BE CHANGED,
but they CAN CHANGE
if what you have looks like something they would like to be.
Behaviors are contagious,
and we don't realize in every moment
we are teaching others how we react to frustration....
and if those (others) are our children,
chances are that's exactly how they will grow up and treat theirs.
START right now
and catch yourself the next time you are feeling frustrated
and remember how you would feel if those kids you're so mad at
were no longer in your home.
I personally use this little trick every time I get angry.
After my brother died, it put "the little things" back into perspective.
We teach without realizing we're teaching!
Let's all teach GRATITUDE!
If I told you it was possible to
change your life,
change your body,
and change your health
in 10 MINUTES a day....
you probably wouldn't believe me,
BUT, it's true!
According to a special publication by TIME magazine
entitled The Science of Emotions,
Exercise is one of the BEST and QUICKEST mood changers there is.
AND... the best part about that is
it doesn't have to be a LONG, ORGANIZED workout
with special training or equipment to be
BENEFICIAL for your BRAIN!
In fact, many studies go so far as to say
that exercise is the closest thing to
A UNIVERSAL MOOD CURE there is.
Exercise has shown in clinical studies
to combat depression, relieve stress,
change emotional states, and even fight cognitive decline.
The problem is, when we HEAR the word exercise,
most of our BRAINS instantly THINK of a sweaty gym,
training for a 5K,
or someone who can bend themselves in half
wearing perfectly matching leggings and a crop top holding a flowered Yoga mat,
THIS IS NOT WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!
Instead, I am saying that just
10 minutes a day
is enough to
change your MOOD,
change your DAY,
and change your LIFE.
And.... Let's be honest
We've ALL got 10 minutes!
New Research from Princeton University
showed that participants in a 6 week exercise study
had a LARGE INCREASE
in New Neurons in the Hippocampus of the brain.
This is an area of the brain closely associated
with memory and regulation of anxiety.
Neuroscientist Elizabeth Gould went on to say,
"Exercise modifies the HUMAN BRAIN."
Walk to the Mailbox, Walk the dog,
Walk around your kitchen table....
or get a HULA HOOP and
set your timer for 10 MINUTES
and CHANGE your LIFE!
When I first began my dream of spreading
the Neuroscience of GRATITUDE to the world,
I wondered if anyone would care, or if anyone would even listen.
I remember vividly telling my professor
that I wanted to do my FINAL
Graduate Research Study on Gratitude
and putting a picture of MYSELF
(sitting behind a microphone)
on my Vision Board
and believing in faith
to BE on an iTunes Podcast
explaining how GRATITUDE
can change lives.
Well... 2 years later...
I can tell you this VISION
is now a reality.
This country girl,
Science of GRATITUDE. to iTunes.
Join us in a little
and help spread some happiness to the world!
Click Link to Watch Podcast
I have worked with lots of people in my 52 years of life,
but I can say that Gladney Center for Adoption
is right up there at the top!
From the moment I walked through their doors
I truly felt the kind spirit of ALL that Gladney is,
and ALL that Gladney does to help create
loving FAMILIES around the world.
My deepest thanks for allowing me to share in your Journey!
or connect on iTunes @
If you have lived longer than about 5 years of age...
then you've dealt with someone you didn't enjoy being around.
And the older you get, the number of "those people" seems to INCREASE.
So... WHAT DO YOU DO
when you LIVE, or WORK with
someone who drives you CRAZY & steals your JOY?
According to a recent article in Psychology Today,
Dr. Andrea Bonior also suggests
going into a controversial interaction with a PLAN.
Waiting until AFTER you're upset, angry, hurt or frustrated
is TOO LATE for your brain to make it's best decisions.
The secret to dealing with people & situations
that are NOT as you'd like them to be...
is KNOWING what to DO
you FEEL Your Emotions Shift.
Watch Today's Video
teaching YOU ways to
MAKE A PLAN to KEEP your JOY
When People Are Driving You CRAZY!
As human beings, we live every single day of our lives as EMOTIONAL BEINGS...
and understanding what to do
in the moment when you FEEL your Emotions Shift toward negativity,
keeps you in the Driver's Seat of your Own LIFE!
The minute you let someone else's actions
control YOUR FEELINGS,
you've lost the battle....
and I am a firm believer that
The BATTLE for JOY begins in your MIND!
Use the Neuroscience of GRATITUDE to KEEP your joy...
even in the midst of a JOY THIEF.
looking for ways to see things in a NEW WAY,
and begin to live a NEW LIFE!
We've ALL heard the saying...
"When LIFE gives you lemons, make Lemonade."
The only problem with that is
your lemonade is gonna suck without some SUGAR.
And.... in the words of my favorite 11 year old "Mom, it's up to US to be the SUGAR!"
Such wisdom from the mouth of a child....
but in fact, it is exactly what the research and modern Neuroscience will tell you.
The ability to adjust your perspective in the midst of adversity (Resilience)
is closely linked to our overall quality of WELLBEING!
So... what does that mean?
Resilience is our ability to recover from a negative situation
and according to suicide prevention programs around the country,
it is one of the most important qualities needed
to alter the overwhelming rise in suicide and depression rates
ALL across The United States.
Resilience, or the lack of,
is also directly linked with one's ability
to BE, or NOT BE GRATEFUL!
One of the leading Neuroscientists, Richard Davidson,
Founder and Director of The Center for Healthy Minds,
discusses how the amount of negative emotion we
has the direct ability to affect our level of HAPPINESS!
So.... what is the best way to alter what we're HOLDING ON TO..... it's GRATITUDE!
It's so easy to be HAPPY when things are going great,
however... the true measure of your overall state of WELLBEING
is the ability to bounce back, or be RESILIENT in the face of negativity.
GRATITUDE is the key to changing Resiliency!
Research shows those who rank
LOWESTon the GRATITUDE Spectrum
stay more focused on their obstacles and their weaknesses.
Developing a practice of GRATITUDE
has been shown in studies across the globe
to improve almost every single area of our lives;
from our ability to sleep, lose weight, be more productive at work,
lower blood pressure and improve our relationships.
But... most importantly GRATITUDE
drastically raises our ability to BE RESILIENT in the face of life's lemons,
because you KNOW how to become the SUGAR!
WHY are WE constantly criticizing ourselves?
WHY do WE continually compare ourselves to everyone?
WHY do WE think we'd be soooooooo much HaPpIeR if......
we were just:
5. married to someone who___________
6. got to go on lavish vacations
7. had a different house
8. had a different job etc., etc., etc.
The TRUTH IS.... Psychology and Neuroscience will both tell you
that after your BASIC NEEDS have been met....
HAPPINESS becomes a
you CHOOSE for yourself !
Modern society is under a SIEGE of Negative Self-Talk
and many people don't even realize
it's going on inside their BRAINS...
and IF we do BECOME aware
of those nasty thoughts we have about ourselves...
we often mistakenly THINK
they JUST live within the privacy
of our OWN HEAD!
IN Fact...NOTHING could be farther from the truth!
Every single thought you have about yourself
is telling your BRAIN how to interpret
WHO YOU ARE!!!
According to an article in Psychology Today
people justify the cruelty they "SAY" inside their heads by believing:
1. I deserve it... I screwed up
2. It keeps my ego in check
3. If I Expect the worst I won't be disappointed
4. I don't really believe it
Studies show that exactly the OPPOSITE is true.
YOUR BRAIN DOES BELIEVE IT!
and.... you are creating continual wiring inside your head
"YOU ARE A FAILURE!"
So STOP doing that!
Start today and CHALLENGE your inner voice!
NEVER be afraid to be WHO YOU ARE!
The problem is...so many people have NO IDEA who they are
because they’ve spent their whole lives
being who someone else told them to be!
It’s taken me 52 years to be OK to be ME!!!
Don’t wait that long!
I always wanted to be quiet, graceful and elegant!
I so admired those qualities in others
and used to hate that I was too loud, too rough, and not very lady like
I have FINALLY reached a place where I can embrace
my insanely loud laugh,
my hillbilly southern drawl,
the fact that I LOVE to wear tooooons of Turquoise Jewelry,
talk to my dog like he’s a human,
hug my kids like they’re still 3 years old,
continue to get excited when I put on a tutu,
am a total nerd about reading and learning new things,
drink lots of coffee,
and.... hope to wear heels up until the day I die!
Because....that’s WHO I AM!
What could you learn to embrace and see it differently just by BEING YOU?
The world LOVES a Superhero.
They give us HOPE and a belief that GOOD can triumph over BAD.
When my BIG son (now almost 30) was little we used to watch the X-Men.
I remember so very clearly him sitting in my lap
as we watched our favorite characters battle the forces of evil!
One of the definitions for a SUPERHERO
is someone or something having
SPECIAL Neurological POWERS.
Holy Moly.... I had no idea that nearly 30 years ago I was pretending to be something that I would later spend my days studying, researching and sharing with the world !!!
The idea of being able to CONTROL your MIND has always fascinated me.
And I think I "knew" .....long before I "KNEW"
that the battle for the LIFE I wanted was in my MIND
..... if only I could figure out how to control it!
Brent was only about 3 or 4,
but I used to SMILE from ear to ear as we would play in the floor
with his little plastic X-men toys pretending to be the characters from the show.
I always wanted to be Jean Grey.... who by the way, was the most powerful!
She could control things with her mind and move them and create explosions!
I have no idea why I liked her so much, but maybe, as a 26 year old mother,
who was at the very beginning of the "swamped" feeling
learning all the tricks I needed to DO LIFE with
work, mom-hood, wife-hood, house and a new job....
I think I secretly wanted to be Jean Grey so that I too could control
(what felt so very OUT of my control) in my own life!
Little did I know...that almost 3 decades later,
I would learn how to become my VERY OWN JEAN GREY
by also learning how to control my MIND...
because I now understand how to control my EMOTIONS!
Watch today's video about controlling your emotions....
and become the SUPERhero of your OWN LIFE!
We ALL have feelings and emotions on a daily basis.
Heck... many of us have them on a moment-to-moment basis!
BUT learning that YOU have the power
every minute of every day
to CONTROL them is truly the secret to gaining the control you need over your life!
Become your OWN SUPERHERO,
by using the special NEUROLOGICAL POWER
available to each and every one of us.
Understanding your BRAIN is the beginning of Understanding your LIFE!
Staci is a one-of-a-kind mix of JOY and Neuroscience who is teaching people all over the world to BUILD a BETTER BRAIN by using Gratitude to create a BRIGHTER future. She has a Master's Degree in Educational NEUROSCIENCE and 25 years of teaching experience where she developed a reputation for being able to uncover potential in others like no one else could. Let her teach you how to live a HAPPIER Life by using the neuroscience of GRATITUDE to rewire your brain and build a better future!