Have you ever been heartbroken?
I mean shattered somewhere so deep within yourself ...
to the point you felt the life you planned was OVER.
I hope you haven't, but chances are if you're past the age of 30 then you have.
Once you've been hurt badly, it's easy to live on "Careful Corner"
just going through the motions and not investing too much of yourself into life.
Then... if something happens, you don't have your WHOLE heart on the line.
Or, you may even travel on occasion from Careful Corner to Bitter Boulevard, or as in my case to the very edge of Watchful Road.
The only problem with that however..... is while you're living in the house
YOU CHOSE to live in.... all safe and sound and on full alert for the next sign of pain... you've also boarded yourself in!
Neuroscience tells us that PAIN... whether it be physical or emotional registers in almost the exact same location in the brain. In fact, during the course of my degree, our professor had us read a book called SOCIAL by Dr. Matthew Lieberman. The book explains how our brains are wired to connect socially. AND when that social connection is broken (via pain) the signals to our brain are much the same as those you have if you break your leg. BUT.... the difference is.... it is socially acceptable for people to be kind and accommodating while you're healing in your cast. Yet, when we are hurting from a broken heart, others don't see your pain. Dr. Lieberman discusses in his book several research studies where people who were emotionally hurting were given Tylenol (the same as we would do with physical pain). The scientists then tested the patients' brains..... and the data showed that the pain relief was equally as helpful with emotional pain as it is for physical pain. I went back and read those studies several times and the research is astounding. Heartbreak is a REAL, measurable thing in the structure of our brain.
So... KNOWING that heartbreak is a real thing... leaves you with the choice of how you decide to move on from there. Will you remain in it for the rest of your life? Will you live on Careful Corner always keeping back some of yourself so as not to get hurt again? Will you live on Bitter Boulevard and blame others for the pain you live in, YEARS later living in anger and resentment for what could have been? Will you live on Watchful Road with your binoculars out searching for the "Red Flags" of sorrow coming your way? OR.... will you decide to throw it ALL IN and LIVE !!! Either way.... the choice is yours.... and your brain is responding to your subconscious choice.
When I remarried....AGAIN....
I had to let go of "what was" in order to build "what is"....
and together we decided to release our brains from past pain
and spend our "life after 50"
LIVING in fullness, JOY and complete GRATITUDE for the life we have NOW!
We are in the Magical Mountains of Montana this week on vacation,
and truly treasuring each and every experience the beauty of this state has to offer.
( I will write another entire post about Montana)
Yesterday we went on a hike in the hills and came across a FrEeZing cold creek.......
and while we were standing there in awe of the sounds it made,
saying OUTLOUD all the things we were grateful that our ears could hear....
Butch decides to do a BIG MAN jacuzzi cold plunge
in the 49 degree waters of Cottonwood Creek!
If you're gonna LIVE... then you might as well do it with ALL YOU'VE GOT!
We've all got 3 choices as to how we live our life:
1. In the PAST... which fills your brain with what could have been or what was... most always releasing neuronal chemicals that cause sadness and depressing thoughts.
2. In the FUTURE... which fills your brain with the Someday Syndrome... leaving happiness, joy and LIFE.... somewhere off in the distance. This releases signals in the our brain that usually create feelings of anxiety.
3. OR... you can live in the PRESENT moment.... making the decision that yes I might get hurt, I might hurt someone, and yes... it doesn't feel good.... BUT in the meantime, I am going to LIVE in the gratitude this MOMENT has given me and cherish all that it has to offer.
THE CHOICE IS YOURS!
Start right now... you don't have to be in the beauty of the Montana sky to be grateful. STOP where you are and take a look around. Be grateful for the eyes that allow you to see the smiles of the men and women in your office. Be grateful for the ears that hear the cars on the highway. And be grateful for the 2 legs that walked you into work this morning. If you still have air in your lungs.... then you have something to be grateful for!
Staci is a one-of-a-kind mix of JOY and Neuroscience who is teaching people all over the world to BUILD a BETTER BRAIN by using Gratitude to create a BRIGHTER future. She has a Master's Degree in Educational NEUROSCIENCE and 25 years of teaching experience where she developed a reputation for being able to uncover potential in others like no one else could. Let her teach you how to live a HAPPIER Life by using the neuroscience of GRATITUDE to rewire your brain and build a better future!