Disclaimer upfront.... This post uses the word sh%t.....
so if that offends you then come back next week.
However, please note that I am not cussing AT anyone,
merely using the term in reference to unhappy situations
and how to DEAL with them.
The slang dictionary definition for Sh%t Sandwich is: Something highly undesirable made triflingly more palatable by attempting to surround it with more tolerable things.
image from dreamtime.com
WELL.... I can tell you this week has been a sh%t sandwich week for me.
And I have had numerous phone calls from friends and clients in the same boat....
which got me to thinking.....
"There has got to be a better way of dealing with this than the one I am using!"
So... I started reading through my Psychology books
and looking for the best ways to deal with less than pleasant situations....
and I can tell you that most of what I found was VERY VERY text book info.
and totally NOT helpful to everyday life.
Except for the part about Rumination.
According to an article in Clinical Psychology Review, February 2011
Rumination is the tendency to dwell on and replay a situation over in your mind, and is a high risk factor for depressive thoughts and impaired disengagment!
WOW!!!! That's exactly what I've been doing all week long.
that same negative situation in my mind
at least 50 times this week!
image from fuerahilos.com
So.... just to be blatantly honest....
I have ruminated (yes....negatively) ALL week
over something that happened on Sunday.
(Someone who I do not even know, and has never so much as spoken a single word to me,
doesn't know my name or anything about me, unleashed their WRATH on me in my own front yard.)
My 1st instinct was to lash out right back....
and if you know me... you know...
that I may be a little person... but I am a mean Tasmanian devil
when it comes to defending myself and my people....
However, I chose instead to remain silent and try my hardest
to find some form of a high road...
Knowing that Hurting people HURT people....
and forcing myself to acknowledge that this situation
cannot really be about me
and holds a much deeper issue for another.
PS... it doesn't make it hurt my feelings any less!
AND.....I cannot for the life of me...
"Let it go".... and I KNOW BETTER!
I've tried all my neuroscience tricks,
I've even written a letter to this person
(not to send...just to get all my feelings off my chest)....
and it just won't go away!
So.... I started reading and reading and reading
in both neuroscience and cognitive Psychology books....
until I saw the Sh%t Sandwich theory.....
developed by Mark Manson
That's just what I needed!
image from dreamtime.com
If you've lived longer than a couple of decades....
you realize that anything GREAT
comes with some form of a Sh%T sandwich along the way.
ALL the things we LOVE have drawbacks from time to time:
1. Raising children
2. Having an organized, clean home
3. A happy marriage
4. A successful career
5. Healthy eating habits
6. A regular exercise program
7. Aging Parents
etc. etc. etc.
This theory simply helps you realize that fact...
And requires you to ask yourself 1 BIG question:
What do you love enough to take a sh%t sandwich for?
This is a wonderful interview but is a little long if you don't have time.
You can skip over to about minute 13:00 to get to the sh%t sandwich part.
WOW!!!.... so today as I sit here and write this post....
I've had a new epiphany about this particular sh%t sandwich....
YES, IT IS ...something I love enough to tolerate unjust wrath,
an occasion sneer and unkind look....
or whatever second sandwich you throw my way....
because I now have NEWfound control of my own thoughts
in a way I'd totally lost ALL week....
I had completely let someone else's anger steal my joy.......
so NO.... you won't be getting any more of my HaPpY
because I'm owning this sandwich
and NOW willing to down the 1st bite!
Next time you find yourself in a situation where
someone or something has stolen your HaPpY....
ask yourself that question......
Is this worth taking a Sh%t Sandwich for?
Sometimes the answer is NO.... but sometimes it's YES....
so just bite that sucker and move on down the road kicking rocks!
Staci is a one-of-a-kind mix of JOY and Neuroscience who is teaching people all over the world to BUILD a BETTER BRAIN by using Gratitude to create a BRIGHTER future. She has a Master's Degree in Educational NEUROSCIENCE and 25 years of teaching experience where she developed a reputation for being able to uncover potential in others like no one else could. Let her teach you how to live a HAPPIER Life by using the neuroscience of GRATITUDE to rewire your brain and build a better future!